You Can't Help But Feel Old...

Discussing skin care with me, my doctor says: "Now might be a good time for you to start thinking about Botox."

My friend Louise's college-age babysitter asks: "When did you graduate [from high school], if you recall?"

IQ and Birth Order

From the NYT: Study Says Eldest Children Have Higher I.Q.s

Finding Those "Golden" Rules

Parenting Magazine has a great article on CNN.com about the (occasional) magical rules parents devise that actually seem to stick. Many of them are really, as the author Barbara Rowley points out, "declarations of policy" such as: "You can't be in the room when I'm working unless you work, too"; "We don't argue about money"; and "You get what you get, and you don't throw a fit."

I stumbled on one of those with my three-year-old, who battles us every night on going to sleep. One night, when she was whining "I'm not tired! I don't want to go to sleep!," I pulled the rug out from under her by saying, "Okay, you don't have to go to sleep..." (That got her attention!) "But you do have to stay in bed and be quiet." Somehow, that one has worked, and it has become a bedtime mantra for us.

Do you have any "declarations" that have hit the mark? Click the "comment" link below and share!

In the News: Summer Health and Safety

• From CNN.com/Associated Press: Sand holes can be a deadly threat to kids at the beach.
• On the message boards, WebMD users are discussing the safety of DEET-based bug sprays.
• The CBS Morning Show and The Boston Herald have coverage of the sunscreen effectiveness study. (Here's my blog entry on the topic.)

Check out sk*rt: Women share the best of the web

Aside from the Costmetics Database (about which I wax eternal in my post about sunscreen safety), my latest obsession on the Web is the new site sk*rt, which is a “girlfriend” site of sorts, gathering together links that have women talking.

Here’s how it works: Users submit links to interesting things on the Web like news, blogs and videos. And then sk*rt readers “vote” on those links, bubbling the most popular ones to the top. (If you’ve ever used Digg, it’s the same sort thing, but skewed to women.) One of my favorite bloggers, Design Mom, is a founder. It’s quite addictive!

If you want to be a doll (and I know you do!), go to sk*rt and vote for my blog entries“Newborn Survival Tips” (here) or “What's in Your Child's Sunscreen” (here). Thanks!

Please submit comments (New and improved!)

(Image from Flickr)

I just realized my settings required registration to submit comments. Well, no more! Feel free to post comments with abandon now, no registration required.

Do you know what’s in your child's sunscreen?

Have you ever paused to consider what’s in the sunscreen you are dutifully slathering all over your kids all summer?

A report came out this week showing that most sunscreens don’t provide adequate protection from the sun because they lack UVA protection or contain chemicals that break down in sunlight.

What’s more alarming to me is that there are known carcinogens and toxic ingredients in major brands of sunscreen – even those made specifically for babies and children. I had actually been researching and preparing a post on the chemical hazards in sunscreen before this new report on sunscreen effectiveness came out.

With the release of the new report, the Environmental Working Group (a non-profit environmental research group that has been pushing for greater oversight of the cosmetics industry) has revised its sunscreen ratings to balance potential health hazards with overall effectiveness, which has had the net effect of making many potentially toxic brands look much better because they do a good job as sunscreens.

But I encourage you to dig deeper and see if the products you are using on your kids are truly safe, not just effective. The sunscreen we have been using (Banana Boat Baby Sunblock Tear Free Spray Lotion - SPF 50) rates an 8 out of 10 (10 being most dangerous) on the health hazards scale, containing chemicals that have been linked with neurotoxicity, immunotoxicity, and developmental/reproductive toxicity, among other hazards.

From the Cosmetics Database (here and here), these are sunscreens for children and babies that the EWG rates high on the health hazard scale:

Product / Health Hazard Score

Baby Blanket SunBlankie Sunscreen Towelette for Babies (SPF 45) / score 9

Banana Boat Baby Sunblock Tear Free Spray Lotion (SPF 50) / score 8

Banana Boat Baby Magic Sunblock Lotion SPF 50 / score 8

Banana Boat Baby Magic Sunblock Spray (SPF 48) / score 10

Banana Boat Kids UVA UVB Sunblock Lotion SPF 30 / score 7

Banana Boat Kids Sunblock Lotion (SPF 30) / score 7

Coppertone Kids Sunblock Lotion Trigger Spray / score 8

Coppertone Water Babies Sunblock Spray / score 8

Coppertone Water Babies Sunblock Lotion (SPF 30) / score 8

Coppertone Kids Sunblock Lotion (SPF 30) / score 9

Coppertone Kids Lotion (SPF 45) / score 9

Coppertone Kids Spray And Splash (Spf 30) / score 9

Rite Aid Baby Sunscreen (SPF 45) / score 8

Walgreens Kids Sunblock / score 8

Unfortunately, these health hazard scores are no longer clear once you click into the individual product profiles (because they are averaged with effectiveness scores for an overall rating), but you can read further down on each page to see what possible problems are associated with the chemicals in each of these products.

There are safer alternatives available, if you do some homework. In addition to the Cosmetics Database, the current issue of The Green Guide (it’s like Consumer Reports of the green world, recently acquired by National Geographic) has an excellent article about the risks of various ingredients common in sunscreens, as well as product recommendations.

For our part, after all the research, we couldn’t swallow the hefty price tag for the brands that the Green Guide recommends, which also rate lowest (1 or 2) for potential health hazards on the Cosmetics Database. But I found that Baby Blanket Sunblock Lotion for Babies, Titanium Dioxide Formula (SPF 50), which rates as just a 3 on the health hazard scale, is available for just $8.49 for 12 oz. (on Drugstore.com). We just made the switch a few weeks ago, so I’m happy to discover the Cosmetics Database considers it effective as well, rating it as a 2 overall.

(Choose carefully: Just because a company has a good rating on one product doesn’t mean all its products are safe. Even some organic brands rate quite poorly on the health hazard scale, so don’t assume that “organic” or “natural” means “safe.”)

The Cosmetics Database covers all sorts of products we adults use, too – almost 23,000 products in all. I focus on kids here because I find it shocking that some of the sunscreens rated as potentially most hazardous are specifically designed for babies and children. And it’s a product that stays on your child for HOURS, day after day, all summer long.

If you want to read more about safety in cosmetics, the New York Times ran an article in February about the campaign for greater oversight of the ingredients in personal care products. (Until I read this, I was only vaguely aware that the FDA does not regulate the ingredients used in personal care products like lotions ,makeup and shampoo.) Though no large-scale clinical studies have connected cosmetics to major human diseases, according to the Times, you have to wonder what the long-term consequences are if every product you use contains just a little bit of a dangerous substance, and how your unique combination of products interact.

Explore the Cosmetics Database and decide for yourself. There are lots of details on the methodology, what the ratings mean, etc. I think you might be surprised what you find.

Happy Father's Day

Newborn Survival Tips

My friend Cristi at work, a few weeks from being due with her first baby, recently made the rounds to the moms on our floor to ask for "last-minute advice." I remember this anxious time in my first pregnancy, when I realized that for all the nursery-decorating, layette-coordinating, and breathing exercises, I wasn't anywhere near ready to handle a newborn.

I got great advice from my friends and learned a few tricks of my own about surviving those first few weeks. Would the experienced moms out there comment on this post with their hard-won wisdom, too?

Here's some of the best advice I've picked up:

1. Make sure you have a digital clock -- i.e. one you can see in the dark -- in your nursery or wherever you plan to nurse. Put it somewhere you can see it easily, so you can keep track of what time and how long you have nursed. A night light is a good idea, too, so you don't have to blind yourself by flipping a switch for those nocturnal diapy changes.

2. Also have a clipboard, paper and pen ready in the nursery, so you can diligently record said nursings and diaper changes. The pediatrician will want a detailed account when you bring the baby in for those early check-ups. If you want to get fancy, you can make a chart so you just have to fill in: Date / Time / Wet / Dirty / Nursed (which side first? how many minutes?)/ Comments (such as "Is it possible to function on this little sleep?")

3. Zip sleepers are awesome, so you don't have to fumble with snaps, which you will inevitably mis-match in the dark -- and probably in the light, too, come to think of it. When I was pregnant, I thought the "sleep sack" (i.e. nightgown) concept sounded ideal, but it never worked for my kids -- they always ended up with their little chicken legs hanging out in the cold. For reasons I still don't understand, it's hard to find zip sleepers, but I highly recommend getting a few.

4. Set up changing and nursing stations all over your house, not just in the nursery. For changing, it's as simple as a basket of diapers, wipes and a changing pad and some extra onesies. As for the nursing stations, just be sure you have a comfortable place to sit -- with pillows or Boppy handy -- and that you are able to see a clock easily. Have a glass of water, cordless phone, magazine and remote within reach before you sit down with baby.

5. Medela's Clean Micro-Steam Bags are one of my favorite products ever -- the easiest way to nuke the nasties out of bottles, nipples, pacifiers, breast-pump parts, etc. Just rinse everything and put it in the bag with a little water and microwave it. We still use them to keep sippy cup valves from getting gunky.

6. The first few weeks will be harder than you ever imagined. The first time around, I was convinced that the rest of my life would be like this (achey, sleep-deprived, hormonally imbalanced and manic). But it does get easier, very, very quickly. When you are so tired you can't remember your husband's name (or why you thought it was such a grand idea to produce this precious, screaming little creature with him), don't forget it does get easier.

Flip Books for Toddlers

We have gotten a lot of mileage out of a little photo book I put together a couple of years ago to keep our (then) toddler distracted on an airplane trip. It's easy to make one personalized to your child's interests: Clip photos for words your toddler knows from magazines and tuck them into an inexpensive mini-album with plastic sleeves. It's fun to involve your child in choosing the pictures, too.

Ours has been on many trips, and our second toddler now delights in pointing to the pictures and naming what she sees. Even our three-year-old still enjoys it -- she now tells us stories about the pictures. Somehow they all seem to involve princesses, go figure....

In the News: From Kindergarten to College Grads

Several articles worth sharing for parents with kids of all ages:

• If you have a preschooler – especially one with a fall birthday -- The NYT Magazine had a great story about the benefits and drawbacks of starting them in kindergarten later rather than sooner.

• For new college grads (and, heck, for us grownups, too), the Times had a down-to-earth and not-too-preachy column last week on how to live within your means and establish a healthy financial life.

• And parents of teens and tweens can establish a dialog with their kids about being smart and safe when it comes to social networking online, personal broadcasting and other "Web 2.0" activities with this excellent primer from PBS.org.

Neat Shelves, Mixed Emotions

I'm torn about the new Organize Magazine that's coming out this summer.

On the one hand, I am crazy about organization. I get a tingle buying binders and plastic sleeves for recipes. I enjoy tidying closets (in fact, I cleaned out our bathroom closet while I was in labor with my first daughter). I save organizing tips from Martha and Real Simple -- in said binders, of course. Neatly arranged bookshelves slay me.

I have a name for this nearly obscene appreciation of organization: PORG

Look at that laundry room. Those baskets are stacked.

Oooh, yes, open those doors… slowly… Show me what's in that closet.

I'd like to get in her pantry, I tell you.

So, I want it. Oh, yes, I want it. Show me more, I beg you, show me more.

On the other hand…

How DULL has my life become when I WANT to read about laundry room shelving? Am I such a control freak that a little clutter would kill me? Are we really so enslaved to STUFF that we have to spend all of our time sorting and labeling it? What does it say about our society when we are more excited about organizing our closets than our communities?

That's my self-righteous hand, if you can't tell. I guess I’ll just have to put that one behind my back when this magazine hits the newsstands, since my left (OCD) hand will be eagerly pulling back the brown paper wrapper for a peek inside.

(Thanks to Design Mom for the heads up.)

P.S. If all this talk of organizing has you a-twitter, you should also check out the Unclutterer blog.