A to Z

Organic: Choosing What Counts for Kids

2007-10-28T21:29:00.000-04:00

I'm one of those people you could call "sporadically organic." I want to avoid feeding my kids pesticides and chemical fertilizers, of course, but I'm also baffled as to what really matters -- and how much of a premium I should really pay for that "organic" label.

The health blog in the New York Times has a nice little piece on "Five Easy Ways to Go Organic" that helps anxious parents hone in on the places where organic counts. Their five picks? Milk, potatoes, peanut butter, ketchup (!) and apples.

I was most surprised by this tidbit about the unassuming potato: "[C]ommercially-farmed potatoes are some of the most pesticide-contaminated vegetables. A 2006 U.S.D.A. test found 81 percent of potatoes tested still contained pesticides after being washed and peeled, and the potato has one of the the highest pesticide contents of 43 fruits and vegetables tested, according to the Environmental Working Group." Mmmm, blight-killer with those fries?

How Couples Argue Has Big Health Consequences

2007-10-03T21:06:00.000-04:00

Image from New York Times

The New York Times has a fascinating article on the implications of how married couples argue. Even if couples consider themselves happy, and even if they fight infrequently, it appears that their style of disagreeing has a big impact on their health. In a recent study, the way couples argue turned out to be a greater risk factor for heart problems than whether they smoked or had high cholesterol!

The study was not about abusive relationships, but about the nuances of handling conflict. The most interesting thing to me is that bottling up emotions during a disagreement ("self-silencing," as the researchers call it) exacts a HUGE toll on a woman's health, but men who bottle up their emotions seem to suffer no ill consequences. (Honestly -- no pot shots here -- doesn't that explain a lot about the way men and women relate?) Where men seem to falter health-wise is in confrontations about control -- even when the man is the one who is making the controlling comments.

A great read. It will definitely make you think about how you handle conflict in your own relationships, even beyond your marriage.

No More Thumb-Twiddling Saturdays

2007-10-02T07:47:00.000-04:00

A friend just turned me on to a great site for planning activities with kids. goCityKids.com provides an exhaustive events calendar for dozens of cities, including everything from service projects and museum exhibits to puppet shows and library storytimes. Even better, you can look up activities by indoor/outdoor, type of experience and your child’s age. Definitely sign up for the free weekly events e-mail, which comes on Thursdays.

We’ve lived in our neighborhood for five years, and I’ve just turned up several promising new playgrounds not far from us. Finally, the feeling that you can discover something new to do with the kids!

FDA Considers Ban on Cold Meds for Children Under 6

2007-10-01T07:14:00.000-04:00

FDA safety experts are encouraging the agency to ban over-the-counter cough and cold remedies for children under the age of 6. The preliminary recommendation, which outside experts will review later this month, says children under the age of 2 should not be using decongestants, and those under 6 should not use antihistamines.

Between 2004 and 2005, more than 1,500 children under the age of two suffered serious side effects from using common cold medicines, according to a recent report from the CDC. The FDA report cites at least 54 deaths in children after taking decongestants, and 69 after taking antihistamines from 1969 to 2006, and says adverse effects are likely under-reported.

Our pediatrician has long told us cold medicines aren’t effective in little ones, a position backed by the American Academy of Pediatrics. Though I’m generally not a pusher, when you have a toddler stuffed up like a taut new handbag at 3 a.m., it has always seemed kinder (for all involved) to give a teensy squirt of tasty cherry liquid than to induce shrieking by forcing saline up her nose and attacking her with a tiny blue turkey baster. Never did I think that these common medications could be dangerous for my kids.

I can’t shake this quote from USA Today, referring to the 800-plus popular cold medications marketed for infants and children: "The basic question is, why should a product be so relentlessly marketed when it's not safe or effective?" said Dr. Joshua Sharfstein, Baltimore's health commissioner. "It does not make sense, in the absence of information, to say 'consult a physician,' because they do not have superhuman powers. They cannot make a product safe or effective."

Equally chilling, it turns out that hyrdrocodone, the ingredient that gives the narcotic Vicodin its kick, is used in some unapproved prescription cough syrups for children. The FDA has given manufacturers until the end of October to stop selling them.

Check out complete stories in the New York Times and USAToday.

Mama's Cookin' Up Something... Cold

2007-09-08T14:35:00.001-04:00

Photo from Flickr

Frozen corn (right out of the bag) and cold black beans and rice have been the big culinary hits this week in my house. I have a friend whose boys devour raw broccoli like it's potato chips. Have I been wasting my time by actually COOKING for my kids? What weird food things tickle your kids' fancy?

They'd be happy to go to bed...

2007-08-30T21:52:00.001-04:00

... but would they sleep?

I've been pondering this question as we entertain the idea of a bed for Zoe. She's been sleeping (if you can call it that) on her baby mattress on the floor of her room, since successfully overcoming her crib railing about a month ago.

Danish company Flexa offers scads of great combinations like this one for the ultimate playhouse/bed. I fell in love with this bed the moment I found it. It's exactly the kind of fanciful thing I'd like to think I'm "Fun Mom" enough to get my kid...

Upon further consideration, though, I don't know how you get a kid to go to sleep when her "quiet place" is a playground... and I don't relish the thought of all the neighborhood kids tromping all over Zoe's bed for the next 10 years.

Back to the drawing board. Oh well, "Fun Mom" was fun while she lasted.

Antibacterial Soaps Don't Wash

2007-08-30T21:34:00.000-04:00

Moms know that the fight against germs is futile, but, valiantly, we try…. As it turns out, one weapon in the arsenal may be a dud. The LA Times’ “Healthy Skeptic” reports that consumer antibacterial soaps don’t contain enough Triclosan to be any more effective than regular soap:

[Researchers at the University of Michigan School of Public Health] recently surveyed 27 separate studies that investigated the effectiveness of soaps containing triclosan. Some studies looked at rates of infectious diseases; others measured levels of bacteria that lingered on hands after washing. [They] found no evidence that antibacterial soaps prevent more illnesses or remove more germs than regular soap.

Though the jury is still out on whether antibacterials contribute to creating drug-resistant "Super Bugs," that's a pretty unsettling prospect that is another mark against antibacterial soaps in my book...

Here’s the full article.

No Mouth!

2007-08-23T12:46:00.001-04:00

Once upon a time, way back in June, Moms only had to worry about choking hazards and drug-resistant germ strains when Baby gnawed on a toy. Ah, the quaint olden days…

Now every week seems to bring news of another recall of Chinese-manufactured toys slathered in lead paint or dotted with dangerous mini-magnets that can become intestinal perforation hazards. (Even as I was writing this, FOUR more lead paint toy recalls were announced!) And, if that’s not enough, New Zealand announced this week that it’s investigating Chinese clothing imports, after extremely high levels of formaldehyde (not only generally gross, but also a carcinogen) were found in some randomly tested items.

As I survey our toy-strewn family room, I wonder which lead-laced toys still lurk -- especially among those not produced by major manufacturers with their in-house test labs and valuable brand names to uphold.

“No mouth, no mouth,” I bark at my 22-month-old, with increasing urgency, “No mouth!”

Some moms I know are gathering up any painted plastic toys made in China and rationing their children’s access to them. My mother-in-law recently chose a plastic tub toy made in Denmark for our toddler, reasoning that it would be safe.

The Atlanta Journal Constitution points out that some parents are turning to organic toys as a safe alternative, and old fashioned toys like rag dolls and wooden cars. Treehugger.com has a guide to greening your child’s toy box.

On NPR last week, Dr. Jerome Paulson, a pediatrician at the National Children's Medical Center in Washington, D.C., said acute lead poisoning probably isn’t a risk for most kids. But he theorized that for a generation of American children, IQ, attention span and behavior could be affected in subtle ways: “The risk for any one child from any one toy is pretty low, but from a public health standpoint, tens of thousands of kids individually exposed means that for society as a whole, there may be a lot of kids who sustain a little bit of damage.”

(Of course, how would we distinguish this from the effect of cell phones and video games, I wonder?)

Maybe it’s time to let kids go back to eating dirt… all of a sudden, that doesn’t seem like such a bad thing.

Just for the record, here's the daunting list of toy recalls so far this summer based on lead or magnet concerns:

Martin Designs Inc. Recalls SpongeBob SquarePants Character Address Books and Journals Due to Violation of Lead Paint Standard– Aug 22

Thomas and Friends, Curious George and Other Spinning Tops and Tin Pails Recalled By Schylling Associates Due To Violation of Lead Paint Standard – Aug 22

Children’s Charm Bracelets Sold by Buy-Rite Recalled Due to Risk of Lead Exposure – Aug 22

Children’s Metal Jewelry Recalled by TOBY N.Y.C. Due to Risk of Lead Exposure – Aug 22

Hampton Direct Recalls Magnetic Toy Train Sets Due to Lead Exposure Risk – Aug 22

Additional Reports of Magnets Detaching from Polly Pocket Play Sets Prompts Expanded Recall by Mattel – Aug 14

Mattel Recalls Doggie Day Care Magnetic Toys Due to Magnets Coming Loose – Aug 14

Mattel Recalls Barbie and Tanner™ Magnetic Toys Due to Magnets Coming Loose – Aug 14

Mattel Recalls Batman and One Piece Magnetic Action Figure Sets Due To Magnets Coming Loose – Aug 14

Mattel Recalls “Sarge” Die Cast Toy Cars Due To Violation of Lead Safety Standard – Aug 14

Fisher-Price Recalls Licensed Character Toys Due To Lead Poisoning Hazard – Aug 2

Children's Earrings Sold at Wal-Mart Stores in Florida Recalled by Uncas Manufacturing Co. Due to Lead Poisoning Hazard – July 17

Serious Intestinal Injury Prompts Kipp Brothers Recall of Mag Stix Magnetic Building Sets – July 5

Children's Metal Jewelry Recalled by Future Industries Due to Lead Poisoning Hazard – July 5

Children's Necklaces Recalled by GeoCentral Due to Lead Poisoning Hazard – June 19

RC2 Corp. Recalls Various Thomas & Friends Wooden Railway Toys Due to Lead Poisoning Hazard – June 13

Using your noodle

2007-08-14T22:49:00.000-04:00

Image from Toyspalsh.com

My friend Keelin just showed me an ingenious use of the “Wacky Noodle” pool toy. When her daughter no longer needed a bed rail, she put a Wacky Noodle under the fitted sheet at the edge of her bed to act as a “speed bump” of sorts, keeping her little one from rolling out of bed at night.

What a clever idea! (And so much easier to make the bed over a noodle than a guard rail.)

I also stumbled across this: Poolcenter.com offers bulk noodles to local civic organizations to assist with fitting child car seats. Who knew!

So dry off your noodle and put it to good use, for goodness sake.

In the News: Young minds and bodies

2007-08-07T17:29:00.000-04:00

Time.com: Hooked on McDonald's at Age 3
A new study shows that children as young as three rate identical food items as tasting better when they come out of a McDonald's bag rather than a plain paper bag, scary evidence of how brands co-opt little minds. (A whopping 77% said the fries in the McDonald's bag were better.) McDonald's, of course, points out that it only advertises its "healthy" Happy Meals (with white meat nuggets, apple slices and lowfat milk) in ads aimed at kids. If you ask me, the idea that McDonald's cares about kids' health is a joke as long as it continues to use trans fats in its foods -- including, incidentally, the chicken nuggets. (Check out the fries, too.)

Time.com: Baby Einsteins: Not So Smart After All
Not only do "Baby Einstein" or "Brainy Baby" videos fail to make babies into geniuses, a new study shows they may actually be harming language development. Researchers at the University of Washington found that for every hour daily spent watching baby videos, babies scored about 10% lower on language skills than kids who didn't watch the videos. A scary finding is that by the time they are two, almost 90% of kids are spending TWO TO THREE HOURS in front of a TV daily. I rely on at least 30 minutes of TV a day with my kids -- I don't think I'd ever manage to get dinner on the table without help from Blue or Little Bear. And on hard days with the kids, they might get a video so I can gather my sanity... I'd rather not feel guilty about it, but I do all the time.

LA Times: Hearing loss may foretell infant deaths, study says
I just came across this fascinating article that suggests routine newborn hearing screenings may help identify infants at risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. A study shows a striking and curious connection between a unique pattern of hearing loss (detected in routine infant hearing tests at hospitals) and SIDs. Researchers believe that the inner ear may have a role in respiratory control, and that it's possible some infants suffer damage to these systems during delivery. Wouldn't it be amazing if doctors could soon prevent these tragedies?

Golly g!

2007-08-02T08:42:00.000-04:00

Image from Body + Soul

All of a sudden, gDiapers seem to be everywhere. Just a few days after I read about the eco-friendly, flushable diapers in Body + Soul Magazine, a friend saw them on a green living program and sent me the site.

The little wrap pants that go over the disposable liners are so darned tootin’ CUTE** that I almost wished Zoe wasn’t close to potty training. (** Oh, yeah, and the cause so worthy. I forgot that part. But did I mention the pants are capital-C cute?)

Then I pulled out the calculator: For the size diaper Zoe is wearing now, we pay $30 for 200 Huggies (15 cents each). The gDiapers are 128 for $52 (40 cents each), but there's also the cost of the wrap-pants and special fabric liners... Seventh Generation disposable diapers, which are chlorine-free and made of wood pulp, are $42 for 160 in Zoe's current size (30 cents each).

Over a child’s diaper lifetime (about 5,000 diapers, I hear – though it seems like a heck of a lot more to me), that’s $750 for regular disposables, $1,500 for Seventh Generation, and more than $2,000 for gDiapers.

So saving the world doesn't come cheap... Time for potty training, Zoe!

(Speaking of the worthy cause part: Watch Dr. Heidi Cullen from The Weather Channel on ABC talking about the environmental impact of disposable diapers.)

Additional note: The Green Guide has a helpful, sane report on diaper options, including the benefits and drawbacks of disposables, eco-disposables and flushables.

Where are the part-time professional jobs for Mommies?

2007-07-24T23:03:00.000-04:00

Ah, that’s a trick question, because, for the most part, they don’t exist. At least not in a way that compensates women fairly and allows them to continue growing their careers.

The New York Times Select has a fantastic op-ed by Judith Warner today exploring this sad truth. No surprise to hear that the Europeans are ahead of Americans on this social issue:

In Europe, significant steps have been made to make part-time work a livable reality for those who seek it. Denying fair pay and benefits to part-time workers is now illegal. Parents in Sweden have the right to work a six-hour day at prorated pay until their children turn 8 years old. Similar legislation helps working parents in France, Austria, and Belgium and any employee in Germany and the Netherlands who wants to cut back.

I especially like Warner’s observation that “the American model of work-it-out-for-yourself employment is Darwinian.” As I noted in my blog about my part-time work experience, success in negotiating a part-time position is, largely, dependent on your luck at having a child when you are already well-established in a workplace with sympathetic managers. How many women can pull that off?

And even this “ideal” arrangement has its drawbacks, as Warner notes:

None of this creates a perfect world. Feminists have long been leery of part-time work policies, which tend to be disproportionately used by women, mommy-tracking them and placing them at an economic disadvantage within their marriages and in society.

Warner reports that Senator Edward Kennedy and Representative Carolyn Maloney are trying to build consensus for draft legislation that would at least give (all) workers “the right” to request flexible work schedules, but with no obligation for employers to honor that request. It doesn't seem like much, but I suppose it's more than what exists now, when many people are probably afraid to even ask.

Here’s the inside link to Warner’s full op-ed. Well worth the read.

Newborn Clipboard

2007-07-15T22:37:00.001-04:00

In my entry Newborn Survival Tips, I mentioned creating a chart to keep track of feedings and diaper changes in those first hectic weeks. Here’s a picture of the one we used for our daughters, conveniently hung by ribbon from a peg rack next to the changing table. I always had a vision of covering the bland office-supply clipboard in vintage floral wallpaper or painting it white. Alas, such niceties get lost when you are sleeping in 90-minute increments.

Husband Calling

2007-07-15T22:34:00.001-04:00

Image from Flickr

Sometimes the smartest ideas are the simplest. Consider listing your spouse as “Husband (Name)” in your cell phone contacts, so that someone knows whom to call immediately if you lose your phone or if there’s an emergency.

My friend Lisa’s husband Jeff recently left his cell phone at a restaurant, and was reunited with it because he had listed her as “Wifey” in his contacts. She showed up in his recently dialed numbers, so the restaurant called her right away.

You could do the same with Mom & Dad, siblings, or important medical contacts (i.e. “Ob Gyn” or “Pediatrician,” rather than “Dr. Miller.”)

Pin-Up Girl

2007-07-04T21:31:00.000-04:00

We just wrapped up a project that started 13 years ago in a thrift shop, when I bought three substantial black wooden frames for $5, thinking, "I can find a use for these." I guess you could say it took awhile for inspiration to strike, but it was worth the wait. With a fresh coat of spring green paint, the frames now hang in Ana's room as charming fabric-covered bulletin boards.

The project wasn't hard to do. The trickiest part was getting the boards that fit into the frames cut to size, since Home Depot's lumber department isn't equipped to do "precision cutting." Martha Stewart's instructions suggest using Homasote board as the base, with no cork covering, but no home improvement store I called had ever heard of it, so we went with hardboard. MDF or plywood would also work.

Back of the bulletin board

I covered my boards with a layer of rolled cork (available at Michael's) on both sides to give them enough depth for the staple-gun staples I used to attach the fabric. I found that using Elmer's Craft Bond Spray Adhesive was much more effective for attaching the cork than a glue gun. Then I wrapped them in fabric (with no adhesive) which we stapled from the back, being careful to hold the fabric taut.

After laying the covered boards into the frames, we attached them to the frames using wood joiners (see the picture above -- they are like metal bars with prongs on each end), added some hardware and a wire to hang them, and voila!

Veggie Booty Recall

2007-07-03T10:01:00.001-04:00

Veggie Booty is being recalled due to concerns it may be connected with more than 51 cases of salmonella poisoning in 17 states. Here's the FDA press release and the story from MSNBC.

You Can't Help But Feel Old...

2007-06-28T22:13:00.000-04:00

Discussing skin care with me, my doctor says: "Now might be a good time for you to start thinking about Botox."

My friend Louise's college-age babysitter asks: "When did you graduate [from high school], if you recall?"

IQ and Birth Order

2007-06-21T22:50:00.000-04:00

From the NYT: Study Says Eldest Children Have Higher I.Q.s

Finding Those "Golden" Rules

2007-06-21T22:28:00.000-04:00

Parenting Magazine has a great article on CNN.com about the (occasional) magical rules parents devise that actually seem to stick. Many of them are really, as the author Barbara Rowley points out, "declarations of policy" such as: "You can't be in the room when I'm working unless you work, too"; "We don't argue about money"; and "You get what you get, and you don't throw a fit."

I stumbled on one of those with my three-year-old, who battles us every night on going to sleep. One night, when she was whining "I'm not tired! I don't want to go to sleep!," I pulled the rug out from under her by saying, "Okay, you don't have to go to sleep..." (That got her attention!) "But you do have to stay in bed and be quiet." Somehow, that one has worked, and it has become a bedtime mantra for us.

Do you have any "declarations" that have hit the mark? Click the "comment" link below and share!

In the News: Summer Health and Safety

2007-06-21T07:17:00.000-04:00

From CNN.com/Associated Press: Sand holes can be a deadly threat to kids at the beach.
On the message boards, WebMD users are discussing the safety of DEET-based bug sprays.
The CBS Morning Show and The Boston Herald have coverage of the sunscreen effectiveness study. (Here's my blog entry on the topic.)

Check out sk*rt: Women share the best of the web

2007-06-20T22:41:00.001-04:00

Aside from the Costmetics Database (about which I wax eternal in my post about sunscreen safety), my latest obsession on the Web is the new site sk*rt, which is a “girlfriend” site of sorts, gathering together links that have women talking.

Here’s how it works: Users submit links to interesting things on the Web like news, blogs and videos. And then sk*rt readers “vote” on those links, bubbling the most popular ones to the top. (If you’ve ever used Digg, it’s the same sort thing, but skewed to women.) One of my favorite bloggers, Design Mom, is a founder. It’s quite addictive!

If you want to be a doll (and I know you do!), go to sk*rt and vote for my blog entries“Newborn Survival Tips” (here) or “What's in Your Child's Sunscreen” (here). Thanks!

Please submit comments (New and improved!)

2007-06-20T22:39:00.001-04:00

(Image from Flickr)

I just realized my settings required registration to submit comments. Well, no more! Feel free to post comments with abandon now, no registration required.

Do you know what’s in your child's sunscreen?

2007-06-20T21:56:00.000-04:00

Have you ever paused to consider what’s in the sunscreen you are dutifully slathering all over your kids all summer?

A report came out this week showing that most sunscreens don’t provide adequate protection from the sun because they lack UVA protection or contain chemicals that break down in sunlight.

What’s more alarming to me is that there are known carcinogens and toxic ingredients in major brands of sunscreen – even those made specifically for babies and children. I had actually been researching and preparing a post on the chemical hazards in sunscreen before this new report on sunscreen effectiveness came out.

With the release of the new report, the Environmental Working Group (a non-profit environmental research group that has been pushing for greater oversight of the cosmetics industry) has revised its sunscreen ratings to balance potential health hazards with overall effectiveness, which has had the net effect of making many potentially toxic brands look much better because they do a good job as sunscreens.

But I encourage you to dig deeper and see if the products you are using on your kids are truly safe, not just effective. The sunscreen we have been using (Banana Boat Baby Sunblock Tear Free Spray Lotion - SPF 50) rates an 8 out of 10 (10 being most dangerous) on the health hazards scale, containing chemicals that have been linked with neurotoxicity, immunotoxicity, and developmental/reproductive toxicity, among other hazards.

From the Cosmetics Database (here and here), these are sunscreens for children and babies that the EWG rates high on the health hazard scale:

Product / Health Hazard Score

Baby Blanket SunBlankie Sunscreen Towelette for Babies (SPF 45) / score 9

Banana Boat Baby Sunblock Tear Free Spray Lotion (SPF 50) / score 8

Banana Boat Baby Magic Sunblock Lotion SPF 50 / score 8

Banana Boat Baby Magic Sunblock Spray (SPF 48) / score 10

Banana Boat Kids UVA UVB Sunblock Lotion SPF 30 / score 7

Banana Boat Kids Sunblock Lotion (SPF 30) / score 7

Coppertone Kids Sunblock Lotion Trigger Spray / score 8

Coppertone Water Babies Sunblock Spray / score 8

Coppertone Water Babies Sunblock Lotion (SPF 30) / score 8

Coppertone Kids Sunblock Lotion (SPF 30) / score 9

Coppertone Kids Lotion (SPF 45) / score 9

Coppertone Kids Spray And Splash (Spf 30) / score 9

Rite Aid Baby Sunscreen (SPF 45) / score 8

Walgreens Kids Sunblock / score 8

Unfortunately, these health hazard scores are no longer clear once you click into the individual product profiles (because they are averaged with effectiveness scores for an overall rating), but you can read further down on each page to see what possible problems are associated with the chemicals in each of these products.

There are safer alternatives available, if you do some homework. In addition to the Cosmetics Database, the current issue of The Green Guide (it’s like Consumer Reports of the green world, recently acquired by National Geographic) has an excellent article about the risks of various ingredients common in sunscreens, as well as product recommendations.

For our part, after all the research, we couldn’t swallow the hefty price tag for the brands that the Green Guide recommends, which also rate lowest (1 or 2) for potential health hazards on the Cosmetics Database. But I found that Baby Blanket Sunblock Lotion for Babies, Titanium Dioxide Formula (SPF 50), which rates as just a 3 on the health hazard scale, is available for just $8.49 for 12 oz. (on Drugstore.com). We just made the switch a few weeks ago, so I’m happy to discover the Cosmetics Database considers it effective as well, rating it as a 2 overall.

(Choose carefully: Just because a company has a good rating on one product doesn’t mean all its products are safe. Even some organic brands rate quite poorly on the health hazard scale, so don’t assume that “organic” or “natural” means “safe.”)

The Cosmetics Database covers all sorts of products we adults use, too – almost 23,000 products in all. I focus on kids here because I find it shocking that some of the sunscreens rated as potentially most hazardous are specifically designed for babies and children. And it’s a product that stays on your child for HOURS, day after day, all summer long.

If you want to read more about safety in cosmetics, the New York Times ran an article in February about the campaign for greater oversight of the ingredients in personal care products. (Until I read this, I was only vaguely aware that the FDA does not regulate the ingredients used in personal care products like lotions ,makeup and shampoo.) Though no large-scale clinical studies have connected cosmetics to major human diseases, according to the Times, you have to wonder what the long-term consequences are if every product you use contains just a little bit of a dangerous substance, and how your unique combination of products interact.

Explore the Cosmetics Database and decide for yourself. There are lots of details on the methodology, what the ratings mean, etc. I think you might be surprised what you find.

Happy Father's Day

2007-06-16T20:32:00.000-04:00

Newborn Survival Tips

2007-06-11T21:24:00.000-04:00

My friend Cristi at work, a few weeks from being due with her first baby, recently made the rounds to the moms on our floor to ask for "last-minute advice." I remember this anxious time in my first pregnancy, when I realized that for all the nursery-decorating, layette-coordinating, and breathing exercises, I wasn't anywhere near ready to handle a newborn.

I got great advice from my friends and learned a few tricks of my own about surviving those first few weeks. Would the experienced moms out there comment on this post with their hard-won wisdom, too?

Here's some of the best advice I've picked up:

1. Make sure you have a digital clock -- i.e. one you can see in the dark -- in your nursery or wherever you plan to nurse. Put it somewhere you can see it easily, so you can keep track of what time and how long you have nursed. A night light is a good idea, too, so you don't have to blind yourself by flipping a switch for those nocturnal diapy changes.

2. Also have a clipboard, paper and pen ready in the nursery, so you can diligently record said nursings and diaper changes. The pediatrician will want a detailed account when you bring the baby in for those early check-ups. If you want to get fancy, you can make a chart so you just have to fill in: Date / Time / Wet / Dirty / Nursed (which side first? how many minutes?)/ Comments (such as "Is it possible to function on this little sleep?")

3. Zip sleepers are awesome, so you don't have to fumble with snaps, which you will inevitably mis-match in the dark -- and probably in the light, too, come to think of it. When I was pregnant, I thought the "sleep sack" (i.e. nightgown) concept sounded ideal, but it never worked for my kids -- they always ended up with their little chicken legs hanging out in the cold. For reasons I still don't understand, it's hard to find zip sleepers, but I highly recommend getting a few.

4. Set up changing and nursing stations all over your house, not just in the nursery. For changing, it's as simple as a basket of diapers, wipes and a changing pad and some extra onesies. As for the nursing stations, just be sure you have a comfortable place to sit -- with pillows or Boppy handy -- and that you are able to see a clock easily. Have a glass of water, cordless phone, magazine and remote within reach before you sit down with baby.

5. Medela's Clean Micro-Steam Bags are one of my favorite products ever -- the easiest way to nuke the nasties out of bottles, nipples, pacifiers, breast-pump parts, etc. Just rinse everything and put it in the bag with a little water and microwave it. We still use them to keep sippy cup valves from getting gunky.

6. The first few weeks will be harder than you ever imagined. The first time around, I was convinced that the rest of my life would be like this (achey, sleep-deprived, hormonally imbalanced and manic). But it does get easier, very, very quickly. When you are so tired you can't remember your husband's name (or why you thought it was such a grand idea to produce this precious, screaming little creature with him), don't forget it does get easier.

Flip Books for Toddlers

2007-06-10T21:27:00.000-04:00

We have gotten a lot of mileage out of a little photo book I put together a couple of years ago to keep our (then) toddler distracted on an airplane trip. It's easy to make one personalized to your child's interests: Clip photos for words your toddler knows from magazines and tuck them into an inexpensive mini-album with plastic sleeves. It's fun to involve your child in choosing the pictures, too.

Ours has been on many trips, and our second toddler now delights in pointing to the pictures and naming what she sees. Even our three-year-old still enjoys it -- she now tells us stories about the pictures. Somehow they all seem to involve princesses, go figure....

In the News: From Kindergarten to College Grads

2007-06-10T21:17:00.001-04:00

Several articles worth sharing for parents with kids of all ages:

If you have a preschooler – especially one with a fall birthday -- The NYT Magazine had a great story about the benefits and drawbacks of starting them in kindergarten later rather than sooner.

For new college grads (and, heck, for us grownups, too), the Times had a down-to-earth and not-too-preachy column last week on how to live within your means and establish a healthy financial life.

And parents of teens and tweens can establish a dialog with their kids about being smart and safe when it comes to social networking online, personal broadcasting and other "Web 2.0" activities with this excellent primer from PBS.org.

Neat Shelves, Mixed Emotions

2007-06-04T22:08:00.000-04:00

I'm torn about the new Organize Magazine that's coming out this summer.

On the one hand, I am crazy about organization. I get a tingle buying binders and plastic sleeves for recipes. I enjoy tidying closets (in fact, I cleaned out our bathroom closet while I was in labor with my first daughter). I save organizing tips from Martha and Real Simple -- in said binders, of course. Neatly arranged bookshelves slay me.

I have a name for this nearly obscene appreciation of organization: PORG

Look at that laundry room. Those baskets are stacked.

Oooh, yes, open those doors… slowly… Show me what's in that closet.

I'd like to get in her pantry, I tell you.

So, I want it. Oh, yes, I want it. Show me more, I beg you, show me more.

On the other hand…

How DULL has my life become when I WANT to read about laundry room shelving? Am I such a control freak that a little clutter would kill me? Are we really so enslaved to STUFF that we have to spend all of our time sorting and labeling it? What does it say about our society when we are more excited about organizing our closets than our communities?

That's my self-righteous hand, if you can't tell. I guess I’ll just have to put that one behind my back when this magazine hits the newsstands, since my left (OCD) hand will be eagerly pulling back the brown paper wrapper for a peek inside.

(Thanks to Design Mom for the heads up.)

P.S. If all this talk of organizing has you a-twitter, you should also check out the Unclutterer blog.

Credit Clutter

2007-05-31T20:43:00.000-04:00

I just invested five minutes in another great way to stem the avalanche of junk mail at our house. You can opt out of receiving pre-screened credit card offers by calling 1-888-567-8688 (1-888-5OPTOUT).

Call from your home phone, as the computer matches it with your address. You will need to provide your social security number to the automated system, too. You can repeat the process to cover offers in your spouse's or kids' names. For more info, the web site is https://www.optoutprescreen.com/.

In addition to cutting down on the paper we must sort and throw away, this simple step also helps protect against identity theft . (Not that long ago, I read that criminals have been able to open lines of credit even with torn-up credit offers!)

If you haven't already, you can also stop catalogs from piling up for the small price of $1.

Cuter Scooter

2007-05-31T08:18:00.000-04:00

Though American Apparel’s skin-tight, come-hither sensibility generally makes me feel I became an old prude somewhere along the way, the idea of dressing in knits can be fabulously practical (and appropriately sexy) for the mommy set. I've been a big fan of their t-shirts ever since our babysitter suggested I check them out last summer. (Should I worry that I am shopping in the same stores as a bright young thing who is 16 years younger than I am? I choose not to.)

Last weekend, I found a soft, kicky skort there that I know I’m going to live in this summer. It has shorts built in, so it’s great for the pool or running errands. My only advice: Buy a size larger than you normally would, unless you are going for the booty-mama look. (Oh, and wear a shirt, unlike the "serving suggestion" above.)

Opting Out, Opting Back In

2007-05-25T16:01:00.000-04:00

Mothers returning to work has been a hot topic this week, with articles popping up in both the New York Times and Newsweek, provoked by a bunch of new books. The consensus seems to be that, with some perseverance, women can get back on a professional career track, but they may not be all that happy with what they get.

According to Sylvia Ann Hewlett, author of the just-released “Off-Ramps and On-Ramps: Keeping Talented Women on the Road to Success,” three-quarters of women are at successful at breaking back in, but fewer than half find “satisfying” work. Some are accepting salaries as much as 40% lower than their previous pay.

And, of course, they have to be willing to go back full-time. There’s the rub. While everyone seems to agree that part-time work is a great option for keeping women in the workforce and keeping professional skills sharp -- while providing much-needed family flexibility -- those jobs simply aren’t out there, for the most part, except for the lucky women who already work full-time and negotiate their way into it. I am one of those lucky women.

I work part-time (three eight-hour days weekly), and for me it really is the best of both worlds: I get adult time and intellectual challenge, but I still get to spend most of my time with my kids (and go to the pool with them all summer).

Even this great arrangement has its downsides. For one thing, while I am lucky still to get interesting projects and responsibilities, my career is essentially stalled. No promotions, no jumping ship for big raises or advancement. This has been harder for me to accept than I would have expected. My career was my life before I had kids, and I still have all the ambition and brains I had before I breastfed babies.

On the bottom line, I have given up 40% of my income, which is understandable, since I work 40% less. However, I have also given up my bonuses, paid vacation time and my company benefits because I don’t qualify for those as a PT employee. This makes working part-time less than ideal – and, for many women, even impossible.

There are very few places with institutionalized part-time positions, and much of this work is second-tier. Certainly, I never see high-level, professional work advertised as “part-time OK!” This is exactly why Pamela Stone, author of "Opting Out?: Why Women Really Quit Careers and Head Home," argues that mothers are essentially forced out of the workplace -- by inflexible schedules and demanding workloads.

More and more, I see my friends reach a point where they have a good family income and interesting work, but they never have any TIME… At a certain point, time becomes the valuable commodity -- not another raise, a better title and even MORE work to do. And that’s one thing companies can’t seem to accommodate in their "one-size-fits-all" career tracks.

I foresee a day (hopefully before my daughters are grown) when companies will offer a menu of options for every position, and the employee (male or female, with kids or without) can choose the combination of salary, work hours, work days, bonuses, vacation time and benefits that best fit them. Part-time workers can be full contributors to a company's bottom line, and they should not be treated as second-class citizens.

A great book offering advice on flexible work arrangements (and how to pitch them to your boss) is “This Is How We Do It: The Working Mothers' Manifesto” by Carol Evans, the CEO of Working Mother Magazine. (I especially love her suggestion that managers should be reviewed by their employees on "work-life balance." Any company that professes work-life balance as a goal should be doing this, or they are just blowing hot air, especially since almost all flexible work arrangements that exist today are "at manager's discretion.")

In short, employees can’t wait for their companies to come up with policies or systems to address these problems. If you have a reasonable proposal for adjusting your work hours or responsibilities – one that works for both you AND the company -- you should pursue it with your employer.

New books on the topic of women and work (mentioned in the NYT and Newsweek articles):

"Opting Out?: Why Women Really Quit Careers and Head Home" by Pamela Stone
"Mommy Wars: Stay-at-Home and Career Moms Face Off on Their Choices, Their Lives, Their Families" by Leslie Morgan Steiner
"The Feminine Mistake" by Leslie Bennetts
"Get to Work: A Manifesto for Women of the World" by Linda R. Hirshman
"Off-Ramps and On-Ramps: Keeping Talented Women on the Road to Success" by Sylvia Ann Hewlett

(Hormone) Free Milk at Publix

2007-05-06T22:49:00.000-04:00

Publix wins big points with GreenMama for going hormone-free on ALL of their store-brand milk. As of May 1st, the full line of Publix milk is free of the synthetic hormone rbST. (You can read more about it here.) Whole Foods also produces a store brand that is free of synthetic hormones, and notably cheaper than organic. With the money we save going back to the store brands, we might actually be able to pay for college!

Co-pilot Caddy

2007-04-28T15:04:00.000-04:00

Like any mom, I am usually driving with one hand on the wheel and one hand on the floor -- groping for dropped sippy cups, clean tissues, wipes for sticky hands, and my sanity, which appears to have been ground into the floormats with pulverized Cheez-Its.

I finally reined in the chaos with this simple little plastic basket I call my "co-pilot" box. When I don't have an adult passenger to handle the dispensing of wipes and snacks, this is easily within my reach. For immediate back-seat emergencies, I've stocked it with pocket-pack tissues, a full package of wipes and some snacks. Other essentials include a couple of diapers (in a cute bandana pouch a friend gave me), reams of Purell wipes, a bib and diversionary items like crayons, stickers and small board books. My cell phone and sunglasses sometimes sit here, too.

This tote is from the Container Store. It has turned out to be useful to have a handle for lifting and stashing it when I have a real co-pilot along for the ride.

Follicle Chronicles

2007-04-18T08:48:00.000-04:00

Eighteen months old, and Zoe FINALLY has enough hair that it stands up on end in the morning. Ana took this photo that captures it perfectly.

Catalog Clutter

2007-04-18T08:16:00.000-04:00

My friend Lisa passes long great advice for getting OFF all those insidious catalog mailing lists:

If you're like me, you get scads of catalogs that you never shop from, that are hard to recycle, and just take up space and kill trees. So I started calling all these companies to get off their lists. One of them was kind enough to tell me I could get on a "do not mail" list and save the trouble of all the calls. So I thought I'd share.

Go to the Direct Marketing Association, http://www.the-dma.org/ and click "Remove my name from mailing lists." It's supposed to take you off lists for five years. It beats calling dozens of companies. This is how I spent my Easter Sunday.

Mama Needs New Shoes

2007-04-18T07:42:00.000-04:00

When I look at my husband’s lifetime collection of shoes -- fewer than a dozen, including the ancient Chucks that are ready to go to the Smithsonian –- I know the saying I “need” new shoes is laughable. And yet, I do. I can’t stay away from them.

Recently, my obsession has been with finding the perfect “mommy slip-on” for summer. Something that goes to the playground as well as the office, looks cute with skorts and capris… and that I can walk in for miles with nary a blister.

Someone must have heard my plea, because -- lo and behold! -- a fabulous source came right to my inbox, in the form of an e-mail from Amazon. The new web site Endless.com offers shoes and handbags. Not just free shipping, but, for awhile at least, a $5 discount on your order with free overnight shipping. Free returns, too.

These Sugar "Smokin Cat Batik" Ballet Flats are just $29.90.

What could be better? Oh, yes, they have kids shoes, too. Can’t forget the kids!

Watermelon Dreams

2007-04-11T13:48:00.000-04:00

Ana's insistence about her wardrobe ran head long into a cold front last week. She fought wearing long sleeves, she fought wearing tights... in short, she fought every practical measure to protect herself from turning into a tot-sicle. So I have to think she was dreaming of warmer weather when she found her beach hat and wore it to bed the other night. (Sleeping with her head at the foot of the bed, incidentally -- three-year-olds find creative ways to be contrarian, even while unconscious.)

About Me

2007-03-31T16:29:00.000-04:00

I’m Laurel, an online journalist and mom-in-training (on the job) with two girls (Ana, 3 and Zoe, 20 months), a husband and one royally demanding cat. Since I spend so much time on the Web for work and personal interests, I started this blog to share resources, ideas and information I find with other moms. All the better if we’re in it together, right? Please e-mail me your thoughts, comments and marvelously successful coping strategies: laurelmom (at) gmail.com

If I were to have spare time, I would enjoy reading books on pop sociology and spending all Sunday morning in my PJs with the New York Times, my husband and a pot of green tea. As it is, I work three days a week for a media company in Atlanta, try to keep up with my kids, perpetually stay up too late in a futile attempt to get the house in order, do crafty things when I can, and go to yoga as much as humanly possible.