How Couples Argue Has Big Health Consequences

Image from New York Times

The New York Times has a fascinating article on the implications of how married couples argue. Even if couples consider themselves happy, and even if they fight infrequently, it appears that their style of disagreeing has a big impact on their health. In a recent study, the way couples argue turned out to be a greater risk factor for heart problems than whether they smoked or had high cholesterol!

The study was not about abusive relationships, but about the nuances of handling conflict. The most interesting thing to me is that bottling up emotions during a disagreement ("self-silencing," as the researchers call it) exacts a HUGE toll on a woman's health, but men who bottle up their emotions seem to suffer no ill consequences. (Honestly -- no pot shots here -- doesn't that explain a lot about the way men and women relate?) Where men seem to falter health-wise is in confrontations about control -- even when the man is the one who is making the controlling comments.

A great read. It will definitely make you think about how you handle conflict in your own relationships, even beyond your marriage.